My Aunt Brenda and Uncle David are celebrating their 30^th (!!!) wedding anniversary this month. 30 years! They are an amazing example that true love and soul mates really do exist and are a real inspiration to me. After all this time, they are quite delirious about each other and still manage to embarrass their kids with loving displays of affection. Hooray for them! As their one-time flower girl, who was christened ‘Lampshade’ at the ceremony for my fantastic pink meringue-dress that I picked out myself, I wish them a very happy and beautiful anniversary. In their honour, here’s a list of my favourite onscreen couples from film and television:

Mr. Grey and Lee Holloway – Secretary – My Dad used to say; “For every old sock, there’s an old shoe”, meaning that there’s someone for everyone. Or, as an old friend said to me at a college party where we hid behind curtains in order to leap out and ’scare’ people; “I need to find a ‘curtain-er’ of my own”. There’s a shoe or curtain-er for all types. Lee finds hers in Mr. Grey. There’s something romantic and balanced in this unconventional relationship. He’s the S to her M. That he puts so much thought into her ‘punishments’ thrills her, particularly when her family treats her like a fragile piece of glass. Expressing affection can be tough, so when you find a way that works and someone willing to bring that out in you, no matter how weird to outsiders, you should fight for that. Even if it means relieving yourself at a desk and sitting there for 2 days straight in a wedding dress.

Marge and Norm Gunderson – Fargo: Marge married Norm ‘Son of a’ Gunderson and while there’s murders, stolen cars and Mike Yanagita afoot, she still makes time to hear all about the painting he’s going to enter for a stamp competition and he always gets up to make her breakfast. It’s not sexy, it’s not ‘hot’ but it’s true love – it’s a marriage. When everything has been solved and the bad people have gone to jail, Marge comforts Norm, who’s upset about his 3rd place in the contest and that his painting will only appear on the 3 cent stamp (”People always need the little stamps when the postage gets raised, Hon”) and they get back to what’s important; waiting for their baby to be born. They’re content with their lot and represent the happy ending that none of the other characters will find.

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* Top 10 Memories of Michael Jackson:

*Note – At the time of writing, my video-enabler wasn’t around to video-enable. Since I’m useless, the links will have to do for now. Give me a break, I’m a child of divorce! (10 Pimlico Points for the first person to post what film that line is from. **PIMLICO POINTS HAVE NO CASH VALUE BUT DO HAVE OTHER QUALITIES THAT ARE JUST AS NICE**)

1. Watching him and Roberta Flack singing together on the Free To Be You And Me TV special.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSNwxeY09bE

2. Sneaking over to my friend’s house to witness the Thriller video debut and being kinda scared of ‘Zombie Michael’ but even more scared of being the saddo loser who hadn’t seen it at school the next day. (The couple of kids who didn’t see it were treated mercilessly. Kids – it’s worth it to sneak these kinds of pop culture milestones and risk your parents’ punishment. Your parents will be much more forgiving than your peers.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xs9OQHpwDE

3. Wearing one glove that my Mum sewed sequins on and it was SUPER-COOOOOL!!

4. Thinking it must be BRILLIANT to have a monkey. Hey, when you sell 25 million albums, I defy you to not go a bit mad and buy crazy stuff. When you have a bajillion bucks, you can buy a monkey with no questions asked. Well, people can ask but you don’t have to pay them any mind; because you have a bajillion bucks. When I have a bajillion bucks, I am absolutely going to buy a monkey. 10 monkeys!! AND a Unicorn!!!! Unicorns don’t exist, you say? Huh, if I had a bajillion bucks, you can be damn sure they WOULD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5KAJw4y8wE (more…)

Did you know that the biggest day for phone calls is Mother’s Day? If you didn’t, that’s probably not a very surprising statistic. But did you know that the biggest day for COLLECT phone calls is Father’s Day? That’s fairly shocking to me; what losers collect call their Dads to wish them a happy Father’s Day???? There’s no excuse! Dads deserve way more. So, if you’ve been less than thoughtful in the past, this Father’s Day – be nice to your Pops; get him a card and a gift, take him out somewhere and make a fuss of him, just like you would for your Mum. He probably won’t make as big a deal out of it as she does but it’ll matter to him just as much. On Sunday, give him more than the Big Piece of Chicken…(”Sure is easy to read with all this light!”) In random order…

Gil Buckman – Parenthood – It takes a big man to fill Cowboy Dan’s boots. Luckily, Gil Buckman is a big man. Puked on, dumpster-diving for lost retainers, having a crap time at work, staying sane through the 136th verse of the ‘Diarrhea Song’ , he still makes time to coach little league and play ‘Bad Dudes’. Even Gil’s own emotionally-removed Dad has to admit he’s a good Father and while he makes mistakes, “You made me play second base!!!!”, he manages to keep his sense of humour throughout. My personal favourite Movie Dad.

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These are the workhorses of the acting industry – the actors who work almost everyday of their lives. As an actor making a great living – this is where you want to be. You work constantly, rarely get bothered in your daily life by strangers when you walk to the shops and if the movie/TV show/play tanks, nobody blames you. Usually, these guys have many other strings to their bow – some are also stunt men, writers, directors, musicians but all possess a chameleon-like quality, making them utterly invaluable. They can hop from stage to film to television to adverts to voice work and it’s never frowned upon. Sure, you’re ‘That Guy From That Thing!’ to most people but quite a few on this list have cult followings, which is always WAY cooler than being common or garden famous. Your fans will seek you out in whatever your latest project is, and, in reality, your more well-known colleagues are normally jealous of your freedom. Also, if you have a opportunity to play a really juicy part, there’s every chance you’ll get nominated and since you’ve probably worked with everybody, you’ll have loads of mates that’ll vote for ya. This is why the ‘Supporting Actor’ Oscar so frequently goes to ‘That Guy From That Thing!’. You go with your practically-anonymous selves!

Clint Howard -A child actor, he started before younger brother Ron and then watched Ron zoom into roles like ‘Opie’ and ‘Richie Cunningham’ that brought Ron much fame. However, the Howard Family must be the nicest, most stable and loving family in the world because there’s no jealousy or bad vibes – only public displays of support and strong familial bonds. Now that Ron’s a big-time director, he puts Clint in practically every movie he does. Not that Clint needs the work, he’s a favourite of so many other directors but because they actually like and respect each other. When MTV began their Movie Awards show, the first recipient of the ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ went to Godzilla. The 2nd went to Chewbacca. Clint collected the 3rd and the entire Howard clan, parents and kids and all, showed up in formal wear to cheer him on. Clint took his award so much to heart that MTV quit giving it out. Clint couldn’t be topped.

(Rock on, Clint!!! I’m not putting this here as a joke, I really, really like this. Hey, if Warners wants to go with an older ‘Joker’ sometime, I have my hand up for Clint in a ‘Yea’ sort of way.)

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“I’ll ask you just one more time…Where the hell is the damn PTA meeting at?!?”

Instead of an introduction like I normally do, I’m going to give Paul and Storm the honours. Take it away, boys -

Peg Boggs – Edward Scissorhands – This lovely, adorable suburban Mum/Avon Lady is frightened at first when she happens upon Edward but her terror at his appearance quickly turns to concern, then the maternal care kicks in. She’s the one who really takes the time and effort to get to know Edward and is rewarded with unconditional faithfulness from him in return. I never completely bought the love story between Kim and Edward but the bond between him and Peg seemed to sprout faster then the woman could grow her hair for him to cut. I mean, by the end of the movie, she’s practically bald.

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"OK, this should be interesting..."

Some tunes have been overlooked in the ‘Love Song Department’, maybe because they weren’t sung by Richard Marx or Mariah Carey. Here’s 10 I’d prefer to be played over the 100 millionth spinning of ‘Everything I Do’ - which would result in a murder/suicide. And I really don’t want to have to do that.

‘Closer’ – Nine Inch Nails – Fair enough, you may not want to play this at your wedding reception with Grandma in attendance but there’s not much point in being with someone if they don’t feel this way about you and you about them; along with all the other, more poetic stuff. Holding hands and sonnets are lovely but that don’t get the babies made or keep the condom manufacturers in business. It’s stupid to ignore the basic human need to get nasty. Isn’t this the end result of everyone putting up with each other? (Quick question – why is America’s No.1 brand of condoms named after the guys who let the Greeks INTO their impenetrable city? “Ooooh, look! A great big horsey! Let’s haul ‘er in here!” Doesn’t inspire much confidence, I would have thought. This is why I’m a ‘Durex’ girl.)

‘(Home) This Must Be The Place’ – Talking Heads – Home is where the heart is so, if your heart is with your honey and your honey is with you, then you’re lucky. Then home can be anywhere. Awwww…I’m going to make myself puke. (No. I’m caught, good and proper –  a closet romantic.)

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