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Go, West September 14, 2009 2 Comments

Oh dear, Mr. West. You made a big boo-boo last night, didn’t you? Arguably, before last night you were the ego-maniacal but kinda fun and spontaneous loud-mouth who said mad things and livened up award shows and red carpets with your ranting and ravings. But now you’re a bully that picks on teenage girls which has endeared you to absolutely nobody. Everyone watching, both at the venue and at home, wanted to envelope Lil Taylor Swift in a collective, protective hug. Besides the mere fact that you got onstage, the worst thing that you said was “…..I’m gonna let you finish….” Hmmm, “I’m gonna LET you finish”. ????? You’ll let the person who won the award actually finish? Wow, that’s big of you. How about not interrupting in the God-damn first place? It wasn’t even your category! You used to be SO relevant; now you’re ‘Crazy Uncle Kanye’ – the music industry equivalent of the insane relative you dread to see coming, who spouts conspiracy theories, tells racist/sexist jokes that are NOT funny at really inappropriate times and thinks the neighbour’s cat is spying on him.

Listen, Beyonce is one of the smartest, most respected, versatile, talented and beautiful performers in the world. Even people who don’t like her music like HER. There’s very few artists that get away with that but Beyonce is one of them. She’s also married to one of the most powerful men in the entertainment industry. Basically, she doesn’t need you to stick up for her. You embarrassed her as well – I didn’t know who to cringe more for (Ms. Swift wins by a nose, since she was on a stage at the time.) But Beyonce, bless her, is a classy, savvy woman and pretty much saved the day. Fair play to Taylor Swift – I don’t know much about her but I think I would have either burst into angry, mortified tears or hit you over the head with that rather heavy looking Moonman thingie. Or both. But she remembered her training and kept her composure. Mind you, I would have LOVED if it had been Pink on the receiving end of this rude stage-crash. She would have kicked you in the balls. The thing is, I doubt you would have got up uninvited like that if it had been Pink. Taylor was easy pickings. It was cowardly. (Update – you know what it was like? It was like watching a live, MTV adaptation of ‘Carrie’ – admittedly, this sight was much less traumatic than the film. Here’s this very young, seemingly naive and sweet girl, who’s being crowned by her peers and just when she’s settling into the idea that the cool kids like her, here comes the bucket of pig’s blood to ruin her moment. But this time the pig’s blood was in the form of you, Mr. West. Thankfully, there was no telekinetic massacre afterwards.)

The category of ‘Best Female Pop Video’ is won by the artist with the most votes from the public. It’s a democracy, not a Kanye-ocracy, man. I quite liked you when you said things like, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” during the Katrina crisis (Even though I would correct you by saying he just didn’t care about POOR people, regardless if they’re black or white) because sometimes it takes an off-the-cuff, shocking remark like that to jolt people into action. And that was actually IMPORTANT and SERIOUS enough to speak out about. But a video music award????? Really???? If you’d stormed up there to say something about how people are losing their jobs and houses in this crappy economy, I’d have SOME respect for you but…THAT was your message????? That Beyonce was robbed of an award?? (And she ended up winning the big one anyway, you lunatic)


I’m all for the freedom to say whatever you wish, however daft it may be, but you took it way too far. There was loads of press outside and you could have told them your opinion on who should’ve won what and they would have been happy to lap up your sermonizing on all things pop culture and how things should work in ‘Kanye-Land’. You didn’t have to turn that 19-year-old’s shining moment into a real-life version of that nasty dream where you’re standing in front of a huge amount of people and end up with egg on all over your face. I’m praying for you to win a big award really soon because I’ll bet a kajillion dollars that one of the guys from Green Day or John Mayer will boot it up there and pull down your low-riding pants or something. Next time you’re up for a gong, watch your back at the podium and wear clean knickers.

You’re a God-fearing man, right, Mr. West? I mean, you’re always thanking him. Then the words “do unto others” shouldn’t be unfamiliar to you. Take heed. Oh, and you owe Swift and Knowles a BIG donation to the charity of their choice to compensate for your behavior. And be quick about it. As quick as you were to hop, like a little self-absorbed bratty bunny, to grab that mic and spout nonsense at two young women’s expense. Next time something don’t go your way, just call a waaaaaambulance, mate.

Dig deep, you gay fish, you!

A Talk With Jonathan August 16, 2009 11 Comments

Jonathan Coulton Wants To Re-Write Your DNA, Baby.

Would You Like Some Monkey With Your Pony? Photo by Dale May

I first became aware of Jonathan Coulton when a friend of mine, Melora, took me to see him play in Hollywood. She had known Jonathan since they were in high school together and she figured because of my unwavering love of ‘Weird’ Al and Spike Jones (the singer, not the director, who spells his name ‘Jonze’, whom I also like..but anyway…), my knowledge of comics and other geeky stuff that I would really enjoy his music. She was right.

However, more than that, I was inspired and impressed by the way he got his music out there. At a time in my life where I was thinking of throwing in the towel regarding my own creative efforts, here was someone that was carving out a pretty damn fine career at a grass roots level, taking a chance on themselves and doing so on his own terms. After the gig, he continued to be friendly and funny (it wasn’t just part of the stage-act, what you see is what you get, which is refreshing), he was interested in everyone and paid attention to the people who lined up to have a photo taken, a CD signed or simply tell him a story. When we all chatted over a pint later, I liked him immediately. Though I’m a writer and he’s a musician, I thought I could take a leaf out of this guy’s book and that maybe I was closer to my goals than I had originally believed. After all, I have a computer too! The Script-Buying Fairy wasn’t going to walk up and knock on my door, just like the Record-Deal Fairy didn’t knock on Jonathan’s. But HE wasn’t waiting around with his thumb up his backside, unlike some people I could mention (*ahem*). HE was making it happen for himself. Why not me? (And, therefore, why not you?)

Now, over pints, we exchange our various hit-or-miss stories, along with other important topics such as ‘Who Wants To Go To A New Kids Concert?’, ‘Where’s The Best Place In LA To Get A Burger? (A Vicious Debate)’ and ‘Girls With No Panties That Ride Mechanical Bulls At Hollywood Bars – Point/Counterpoint’ (and no, it wasn’t me, by the way), and I always come away feeling positive and encouraged. I’m grateful that the DIY-Career Fairy (and Melora) put Mr. Coulton in my path. Even if he sometimes forgets that Ireland is 5 hours ahead of New York…

So, in the first interview in this new section that asks successful entertainment folks how they managed to, well, become successful, I’m thrilled to bring you words of wisdom from The Bard of the Broadband, The Fiend of Fractals, The King of Skullcrusher Mountain….Jonathan Coulton.

Erin: When was your ‘light bulb above your head’ moment?
Jonathan Coulton: I was asked to play a conference called PopTech, a get together of big idea people, tech CEOs, super scientists and the like. I was nervous about it because I had never played that kind of crowd before – I had recently been writing and playing for John Hodgman’s Little Gray Book Lectures, but this was a brand new audience who didn’t know me. But I did a couple of the geekier songs, and when I sang through the equation in ‘Mandelbrot Set’ the audience leapt to their feet applauding. That was sort of the moment for me, when I realized that there might be an audience who was specifically interested in the kinds of stuff I was already writing about. It was the first time I ever met the geek audience.


Did you balance your 9-5 job with playing gigs and recording?
 I didn’t play many gigs at all, there wasn’t really any point to it because the audiences were so small. I know you’re supposed to play out and grow your audience, but that always felt really soul-sucking to me. And the writing and recording just happened in the cracks. When you don’t have kids, there’s actually quite a bit of time left over in the day and on the weekends. So it was like any hobby, I just did it when I had time and because I was interested.

In a way, it can be more difficult to be almost-there-but-not-quite. Was that time as soul-crushing for you as it is for many people I know? What got you through it?
It was very hard. Especially watching the web stats so closely as I did when I first started – I’d get a spike and I’d say “Oh, this is how it should be all the time, this is great,” and then within a couple days the spike was gone. And in some ways it’s harder to keep going after a success like that, it’s like a dangerously addictive drug. I went in cycles: I’d release songs until something hit big, and then immediately after I’d feel paralyzed and depressed, and for a few weeks I’d write stuff that wasn’t really that great. The only way to handle it was to look at long term trends and ignore the spikes as much as possible. With every spike, the traffic levels would settle down to somewhere slightly higher than before. And I was lucky enough that my wife was still working and fully supportive of what I was doing, so I knew I had a big chunk of time to fail or succeed or waste or whatever. At the other side there was either a workable career as a musician or a return to some kind of a day job, which was never really that bad to begin with.

From ‘light bulb’ moment to being able to pay the rent with your earnings from your music, how long did that take?
I remember about halfway through the year I had a month where I made enough to pay the babysitter who was watching my kid while I was pretending to be a musician. That was a real victory. I wasn’t exactly contributing to the family, but I wasn’t quite a negative anymore. And by the end of that year I was making enough to cover the mortgage and the babysitter and still have a little left over. The first year wasn’t hugely profitable, but it was big enough that I could see through to a sustainable income.

Did you give yourself a time-limit? Like, “I’m giving myself 2 years and if it doesn’t work, back to the IT desk I go and I’ll jack it in.” Or do you think would you have continued at a more hobby-level?
It was 6 months to start, we agreed we’d do that and see how it was going. If nothing at all had happened in that six months it would have been hard to keep going, but it was always promising to get better so I just kept going. I have no idea how long it will last, it’s entirely possible that I’ll run out of songs, or run out of people who want to buy them, and then have to come up with another plan.

So, your friends and family think you’re talented and are supportive (as good friends and family should be) but when was the moment you realized, “Hey, people I don’t know enjoy my music! I could actually make a proper living from this!”
I had some of that even before I made the plunge and quit the day job. I had already released a CD and was selling it on CDBaby. Every now and then I’d get an email from some stranger, and I remember there was one (rare) live show where the audience was four or five friends and exactly one fan. That was one of the things that made me think I could quit the job and make it work, the idea that if some complete strangers liked what I was doing, maybe there were others.

Who was the person (or persons) that were most important in your jump from ‘Code Monkey’ to ‘Internet Superstar’?
I’m sure that the Hodgman connection helped a great deal. We’d been friends since college, and he was a few steps ahead of me in the “quit your job and get famous” plan. Just before I left my job, he had just published his first book and was touring around doing readings, and I came along and accompanied him on guitar, sang a couple songs, etc. Then suddenly he was on TV and everyone knew who he was. His book really took off, and the book tour started really drawing audiences and press. That was a hook on which to hang my brand new tiny fame as I started doing music full time.

A Thing-A-Week, done correctly, may allow you to tell your boss to piss off.

Doing your own Thing-A-Week, whatever it may be, could result in you telling your current boss to piss off somewhere down the line.

Could you talk about the role Creative Commons played in your success? And, what exactly IS Creative Commons?
Creative Commons is a way to license stuff you make – it sits on top of copyright and gives back some things that copyright takes away. Copyright says “All rights reserved” and Creative Commons says “Except for these” (and you get to define what they are). So my license allows people to freely trade and share the music, and to reuse it in creating something new, as long as what they’re doing is non-commercial. (Edit – Like the fan-made video clips in this article) It really is just a direct acknowledgement of the way people actually use music these days. And I know that it’s helped a lot, word of mouth from people passing the music around, plus plenty of exposure from videos, artwork, and new music that people have made using my songs. Creative Commons really helps music to circulate, and when nobody knows who you are you need as much circulation as you can get.

What have been some disappointments thus far? Things that you would have liked to happen but didn’t.
I have very little disappointments in how things have gone, it’s still amazing to me that I make my living this way.

The internet has been pretty major in getting your work known. Could you talk about how it helped you at the start and where it’s gotten you? Also, has much changed in the interim?
I never would have started if I didn’t see the internet as a way to start without working hard and risking a lot. I didn’t have the will or the time to invest in a lot of live shows to build an audience, and I didn’t have enough audience to interest any kind of label enough to invest in me. I was stuck there until I realized that I could cheaply and easily publish as much stuff as I wanted on the internet. Plus, maybe the internet would do the “growing my audience” part of it for me. I wasn’t sure that was going to work, in fact I thought it probably wouldn’t, but I had nothing to lose by trying. The interesting thing these last couple of years has been discovering that only a small percentage of the world actually uses the internet this way – there’s still a lot of juice left in old school media. That’s what I’m trying to puzzle out now, how to reach the people who don’t already buy all their music in iTunes.

Having been at a few of your concerts, you sort of have the ideal amount of fame – in the venue, you’re famous, but on the street, you generally don’t get bothered. Could it be that you’ve cracked the ‘entertainment personality’ paradigm?
It’s a pretty sweet situation – I get the occasional ego boost of feeling famous, but I don’t have to cover my child’s face with a mask when I go outside. I can’t say that it’s prevented me from becoming a little crazy, there are certainly situations where I get a small glimpse of what it must be like to be super famous everywhere you go. It would be very unpleasant I think. I don’t know what the sweet spot is because I’ve only come this far. It seems to me that there’s always someone more famous, more beloved, more wealthy, no matter how big you are. I’d love to be adored by millions and have so much money that I could never spend it all, but it’s not necessary to have that in order to be happy and fulfilled. I try to remember that, and I try to remember how lucky I am just to be making a living this way.

What tips and advice would you give to someone interested in starting their career in the manner you have?
Just start. That’s the hardest part, and it’s the thing that will help you the most. My friend Merlin Mann (Edit – has been thinking and blogging about exactly this for a while, and he’s got a lot of smart things to say about it. Now more than ever, there are very few REAL impediments to you making something and publishing it for the world to see – it’s cheap, it’s not technically complicated, you don’t even have to put pants on if you don’t want to. Just make something, and then put it out there, see what happens.

In finish, talk about a random, happy highlight that you’ve experienced.
I was out on a recent John Hodgman book tour. It was his second book, and we had been on the road for what felt like a long time. We were playing at a book event, in this giant convention center floor – the sound wasn’t great, and while the audience was huge it was hard to tell if they were enjoying us. We were also pressed for time on stage and had to cut a few things short, the whole thing felt very low energy, like we weren’t reaching anyone. And then John took some questions, which always loosens the audience up because he’s so funny off the cuff. One of the questions was from a little girl, maybe about 6 years old who asked “Are you guys going to do the zombie song?” John didn’t hesitate: “Yes we are,” he said, even though that was going to put us over time, and even though most of the audience had come to see him and not me. And I sang that song, suddenly not caring if I was pleasing the rest of the audience or not. There are a lot of those moments, and they remind me how incredible it is to make a connection with someone you’ve never met.



In closing this rather wonderful inaugural interview (wonderful on the part of JC, I mean), I’d like to pick my Top 5 Jonathan Coulton songs. They may not be yours but it’s my site so I get to say. In random order:

(Always the Moon)

(That Spells DNA – this kid did a video to Jonathan’s song for his biology class and didn’t get any extra credit!!!! You suck neurons, This Kid’s Biology Teacher. No wonder the education system is in a shambles. Tsk.)

(I Feel Fantastic)

(I Crush Everything. Generally speaking, it’s a sea-shanty type song about a Giant Squid who is sad that he crushes the beautiful ships above, not to be destructive but because he wants to make friends with them. However, it also kind of applies to a situation like Dr. Horrible’s here.)

(Soft Rocked By Me, with frequent JoCo cohorts, Paul and Storm.)

Wanna buy JoCo music, T-shirts, colouring books? Sure you do. Check out Jonathan’s site – – A thousand delights await you…

JC - Good at singing, songwriting and being clever. Decent at posing for pictures.

...This picture being only ONE of those delights. Photo by Dale May

John Hughes: Patron Saint of Teen Flicks August 7, 2009 5 Comments

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.”Ferris

Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

As a teen, when most adults were the enemy and just didn’t get it, John Hughes was the grown-up we could trust. Maybe it’s because he listened to his young cast about soundtrack, wardrobe and even storyline (perhaps he even listened a little too much regarding that last one. I still think Andie should have ended up with Duckie in Pretty In Pink. And I thought Allison Reynolds (Alley Sheedy) looked better before she was made up all prissy) Or maybe because he could recall vividly all that it meant to be in this strange, weird stage of transition. Whatever the reason, John Hughes’ movies were a graduation from childhood and Disney-esque films to young adulthood and movies that featured problems we faced and understood; like fitting in (or not), how to break out of that box once you have fitted in (or not), weighing up the pros and cons of conformity, and love and sex. Especially love and sex. Instead of dismissing feelings that we dealt with at that time for anything apart from Puppy Love or hormone fueled indulgence - Hughes made the courtship machinations between his couples as complex, exciting, intense and, most importantly, legitimate as any so-called more sophisticated fare. John Hughes took us seriously and these were OUR movies. When The Godfather was still that bloke who’d give you a fiver when he came to visit, we knew what The Breakfast Club was alllllll about.

lockersHe also introduced the exotic idea of lockers to the less fortunate of my generation. As convent school inmates in Ireland, my friends and I weren’t all that interested in the fashions that we knew we could never wear to school. Or the ‘Prom’ – we had a ‘Debs’ and anyway, we were better off there as most people are of legal age to drink by the time the Debs rolls around. And our classes (or grades, depending on your location) were too small to have real cliques. No, it was the lockers. We claimed it was because we were fed up of dragging 40 pounds of books behind us but there was something deeper about the draw. It was your own space in a building where you had little to no control. You could put up pictures and other personal items and make it your own. An extremely attractive notion when you’ve got to wear a uniform.  And, we innately understood the underlying excitement and seething sexual-political potential that these simple devices held. There was utter fascination with this apparent Mating Ritual that occured around lockers in these cool American High Schools. What happened at your locker could make or break you and there never seemed to be any teachers around. During the tiny breaks from classes before the bell rang, these kids hooked up and broke up. Romance and heart-break had to fit in between English and History. Relationships were solidified and burned in these few moments, enemies became friends and friends turned into enemies, hopes and dreams came true or were crushed. These small instances became whole worlds usually climaxing in that most sacred portion of the school day - lunch. We wanted these experiences and adventures, so we wanted the lockers. Alas, we did not get. Bloody nuns. Why give us boys but no lockers? Maybe, like most things, it was better in the movies. So we lived vicariously through Molly Ringwald.

16 candles

When my 30th birthday passed certain close family members by (no names but you know who you are) I was right in Samantha ‘Sixteen Candles’ territory. It took me until I’d reached that ripe age to fully understand just exactly how Sam felt. Wow, does it hurt. It’s funny how much we DON’T change. Yes, people mature, they marry and have children, swap a principal for a boss and classmates for colleagues but is anything really all that much different? We still want to feel popular and special and when we are forgotten, it totally sucks and our feelings are put through the ringer. Sometimes I wish it was still acceptable to go to your room, slam the door and sulk. Not that I don’t still do that, it’s just not something that is normally acceptable for a 34 year old woman to do. But, like Samantha, things wound up OK, better than I could have hoped. And it’s still fun to piss off authority figures. Like, when the Grumpy Old Cow from across the way recently came to complain about the noise that a few friends and I were making, we asked her if it was a ‘ruckus’ and then we all demonstrated the ‘ruckus’. We could barely keep it together and when she left, very annoyed, we broke down, wetting ourselves laughing. Such joy! Partly because it was genuinely funny but more because it meant that we weren’t so far removed from our younger selves, because the Grumpy Old Cow didn’t get the reference. It was a short-hand that we all identified with, even though we all came from different backgrounds and cultures. Nobody had to even say the name of the film, we knew at once. After all – Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

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What girl didn’t try to apply lipstick from her bra? What boy didn’t try John Bender’s spit-release-and-catch? Myself, I was somewhere between Allison Reynolds and Ferris Bueller (with a little Bender thrown in) but Hughes’ movies helped me realize that I was, all at once –  a brain, an athlete, a basket-case, a princess and a criminal.  As well as a ring-leader, a willing follower, a trouble-maker, a peace-keeper, a cynic and a romantic. Danke schoen, John.

CORRECTION Obit John Hughes

So, in ending this piece, I’d like to say: Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we’d like to play a little tune for you. It’s one of my personal favorites and I’d like to dedicate it to a young man who (probably) doesn’t think he’s seen anything good today – John Hughes, this one’s for you.

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Top 10 Songs for an Afternoon Drive July 31, 2009 2 Comments

This list if for all the other fans of “leisure miles” out there;  for y’all who love spontaneously firing up the cruiser and aimlessly wandering over the landscape. SCurve2 Leisure miles are very important to me and despite rising gas prices and environmental concerns I still make sure to put a good playlist together and hit the road every month or so.  I mostly started this tradition on the smaller highways around UCSB and made it a weekly event when I moved to Eugene, Oregon.  Now in LA there’s PCH, the Santa Monica Mountains or the Angeles National Forest that provide the best routes.

For the rest of you that need a destination I highly recommend cranking up a rock ballad or epic instrumental for a 10 minute stretch of random highway. With the afternoon sunlight flashing between trees, street markers jumping back in rapid fire, fresh air blasting through the open windows and tires whirring around each curve don’t worry about where your headed but just take it all in with a good jam.

Here are my Top 10 Songs for an Afternoon Drive presented in no particular order. Hardly all-inclusive, this list could have been 50 strong but I grabbed a few samples of my favorites over a few genres, mostly rock.  If you own any of these make sure they are available in your car for your next leisure cruise.  And be sure to add your own favorites to the comments…

“gone are the days we stopped to decided…where we should go, we just ride.” – Grateful Dead


Led Zeppelin – In the Light

Johnny Cash – Wanted Man

Phish – Free

Read the rest of this entry »

Top 10 Onscreen Couples July 11, 2009 3 Comments

My Aunt Brenda and Uncle David are celebrating their 30th (!!!) wedding anniversary this month. 30 years! They are an amazing example that true love and soul mates really do exist and are a real inspiration to me. After all this time, they are quite delirious about each other and still manage to embarrass their kids with loving displays of affection. Hooray for them! As their one-time flower girl, who was christened ‘Lampshade’ at the ceremony for my fantastic pink meringue-dress that I picked out myself, I wish them a very happy and beautiful anniversary. In their honour, here’s a list of my favourite onscreen couples from film and television:

secretaryMr. Grey and Lee Holloway – SecretaryMy Dad used to say; “For every old sock, there’s an old shoe”, meaning that there’s someone for everyone. Or, as an old friend said to me at a college party where we hid behind curtains in order to leap out and ’scare’ people; “I need to find a ‘curtain-er’ of my own”. There’s a shoe or curtain-er for all types. Lee finds hers in Mr. Grey. There’s something romantic and balanced in this unconventional relationship. He’s the S to her M. That he puts so much thought into her ‘punishments’ thrills her, particularly when her family treats her like a fragile piece of glass. Expressing affection can be tough, so when you find a way that works and someone willing to bring that out in you, no matter how weird to outsiders, you should fight for that. Even if it means relieving yourself at a desk and sitting there for 2 days straight in a wedding dress.


Marge and Norm Gunderson – Fargo: Marge married Norm ‘Son of a’ Gunderson and while there’s murders, stolen cars and Mike Yanagita afoot, she still makes time to hear all about the painting he’s going to enter for a stamp competition and he always gets up to make her breakfast. It’s not sexy, it’s not ‘hot’ but it’s true love – it’s a marriage. When everything has been solved and the bad people have gone to jail, Marge comforts Norm, who’s upset about his 3rd place in the contest and that his painting will only appear on the 3 cent stamp (”People always need the little stamps when the postage gets raised, Hon”) and they get back to what’s important; waiting for their baby to be born. They’re content with their lot and represent the happy ending that none of the other characters will find.



  Read the rest of this entry »

Top 10 Michael Jackson Memories June 26, 2009 6 Comments

* Top 10 Memories of Michael Jackson:

*Note – At the time of writing, my video-enabler wasn’t around to video-enable. Since I’m useless, the links will have to do for now. Give me a break, I’m a child of divorce! (10 Pimlico Points for the first person to post what film that line is from. **PIMLICO POINTS HAVE NO CASH VALUE BUT DO HAVE OTHER QUALITIES THAT ARE JUST AS NICE**)

1. Watching him and Roberta Flack singing together on the Free To Be You And Me TV special.

2. Sneaking over to my friend’s house to witness the Thriller video debut and being kinda scared of ‘Zombie Michael’ but even more scared of being the saddo loser who hadn’t seen it at school the next day. (The couple of kids who didn’t see it were treated mercilessly. Kids – it’s worth it to sneak these kinds of pop culture milestones and risk your parents’ punishment. Your parents will be much more forgiving than your peers.)

3. Wearing one glove that my Mum sewed sequins on and it was SUPER-COOOOOL!!

"I want 5 monkeys"
“I want 5 monkeys”


4. Thinking it must be BRILLIANT to have a monkey. Hey, when you sell 25 million albums, I defy you to not go a bit mad and buy crazy stuff. When you have a bajillion bucks, you can buy a monkey with no questions asked. Well, people can ask but you don’t have to pay them any mind; because you have a bajillion bucks. When I have a bajillion bucks, I am absolutely going to buy a monkey. 10 monkeys!! AND a Unicorn!!!! Unicorns don’t exist, you say? Huh, if I had a bajillion bucks, you can be damn sure they WOULD. Read the rest of this entry »